Spit on Tradition

Blowing a candle out for one’s birthday is traditional.  The tradition started in ancient Greece.  Grecian smoke offered prayers to the moon goddess named Artemis.  Today, we whisper wishes instead of prayers.  And though Artemis is no longer worshiped, we still blow.  We spray sputum and bacteria all over cakes to this very day.  Then everyone eats!  None of us knows why we do this either.  We’re oblivious.  And we’re also slaves to tradition.  Tradition, for tradition’s sake is nonsensical — and sometimes spreads sicknesses.  Rebel against tradition this year;  save the candles for the bedroom, where bodily fluids and goddesses belong.

“…when it was time for dessert, the prince’s entire livery…carried a generous-size torte with colorful flaming candles – amounting to some fifty candles – that began to melt and threatened to burn down, instead of there being enough room for candles indicating upcoming years, as is the case with children’s festivities of this kind…”

— Goethe, 1799


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